Punk Globe: You played bass with my long-time friend Bif Naked. Tell us about that?

I knew who Bif was in the old school Vancouver scene back in the early 1990s when she was singing lead with Chrome Dog and I was playing bass with Cellar of the Sun – which featured future Leftover Crack frontman Ezra “Crack” Cannon. I never actually met Bif, but I was blown away by her stage presence and performance energy, whether she was rocking out for 50 people at the Niagara Hotel or ruling the stage at the 1992 Highwood Festival in front of 4,000 people. All the Vancouver-area Riot Grrrls adored her and embraced her, and she was one of the most powerful personalities in the Vancouver scene at the time. And then Peter Karroll came along and launched her solo career for real and she became Canada’s Sweetheart! Local Girl Does Good! 

I finally met her in person about ten years ago. My fellow Cranbrook musician J.D. Ekstrom was her guitarist for five years, and it was a great pleasure to become friends with her. What you see is what you get. One of the sincerest, nicest, gentlest, funniest, smartest, and most empathetic people I’ve ever had the privilege to know. Not an ounce of pretentiousness or arrogance or iciness or anything. Very worldly and well-read and utterly ageless. It was refreshing to know that the Bif Naked that’s promoted to the public is the same Bif Naked who’ll welcome you into her home, whip you up the tastiest Indian food you’ve ever eaten, and refuse to let you help wash the dishes afterward (laughs). She’s awesome.

I got the bass gig with her band right out of the fucking blue. The story goes like this:

It seemed her then-current bassist had gradually been wearing out his welcome and walking on thinner and thinner ice with overbearing attitudes and such. Bif was playing this huge Pride Festival on Parliament Hill in Ottawa in the summer of 2018 – she was delivering an excitable pump-up speech to the crowds – while the bassist was berating the drummer and guitarist behind her – and his bullying was caught on the the mic! Apparently Bif gave him a withering glare that could have frozen a lake before finishing up the pump-up speech and rocking out the rest of her set. Immediately afterward, once she was offstage, she blew her top. Got on the phone with Peter Karroll and told him that either the bassist was fired or she was going to quit her own band! Peter reminded Bif that there was another slew of upcoming gigs that had to be honored and that he’d call up some hotshot session musician on speed dial or whatever, and then: 

Bif: “Absolutely not! I want this band to be fun again. I need someone who’s pleasant to be around, I need someone who’s an accomplished and dedicated player, I need someone with a gung-ho professional attitude – and I know a guy. You need to give Ferdy Belland the right of first refusal to join the band.”

Peter: “Huh? Who the fuck is Ferdy Belland?”

Bif: “Peter! He was the guy at my wedding who came up to you and had you sign all his Karroll Brothers records!”

Peter: “Oh! Him! Oh yeah, he’s great! Sure thing, Bif!”

So I’m getting on my jacket and heading out the door to meet a friend for beers when my phone rings and it’s Bif! 

Ferdy: “Hey Bif! Long time no talk! How are you doing?”

Bif: “Hey Ferdy. I’m fine, thank you. Look, this happened…” (explains) “…so, do you want to join my band?”

Ferdy (instantly): “Yes. YES! My God, thank you SO MUCH! Er, so what happens next?”

Bif: “I’m so glad you agreed, Ferdy! Peter will be calling you in twenty minutes!”

(reschedules with a buddy, eagerly waits 20 minutes, phone rings again)

Peter: “Hello Ferdy. You come very highly recommended by my artist.”

Ferdy: “Thank you so very much for the opportunity, Peter. I promise you that I won’t let you down.”

Peter: “Bif has a show coming up in Edmonton in two weeks. Headlining the Frosh Week Homecoming Festival at Grant MacEwan University. Can you learn 20 Bif Naked songs in two weeks?”

Ferdy: “Absolutely, Peter. Do you need me to sing background harmony vocals as well?”

Peter: “You sing too?”

Ferdy: “You bet. What’s the band’s onstage dress code?”

Peter: “You don’t have a problem adjusting your apparel to fit the gig?”

Ferdy: “Of course not.”

Peter: “Basic black.”

Ferdy: “You got it, Peter.”

Peter: “Okay Ferdy, here’s the deal: I’m going to consider this upcoming Edmonton show as your trial-by-fire audition. I’m going to fly you out to Edmonton on my dime. I’ll have a valet pick you up at the airport and take you to the festival site. I’ll set you up overnight in the Hyatt Regency Hotel. Not only will I pay you for playing a 90-minute set with my artist, but you’ll have a per-diem for your live-out allowance and a backstage rider for food and drink. If you pull this off, you are officially the full-time bassist for the Bif Naked band. Deal?”

Ferdy: “Yes, Peter. Thank you so much!”

I learned her repertoire solid in four days and spent the following week and a half just running the tunes endlessly, over and over and over again until they became automatic and unconscious under my hands. That’s the goal with learning any songs, let alone songs being learned under sudden professional pressure. So the big day came, I hopped a plane from Cranbrook to Edmonton, the valet whisked me off to the University, I met Bif and Steve (Allen, guitarist) and Chiko (Misomali, drummer) backstage, Bif gave me a big hug, said good luck, and off we went. I took the stage with them cold, with no rehearsal – and I nailed it. The crowd went wild for Bif, as they always do, and it was a visceral thrill for me. Afterward, backstage, Chiko clinked bottles with me in salute and said: “Wow, that was good, man – it’s like you’ve always been playing with us.” Which was one of the all-time best musical compliments I’ve ever been given. 

My time with the Bif Naked band remains some of the brightest moments in my musical life. I shared huge festival stages with 54-40 and Big Wreck and Our Lady Peace and the Trews and K-OS. I played to the largest audience I’ve ever performed for 28,000 people at the 2019 Canada Day Celebrations in Surrey BC. We went to the Bahamas to play the Trailer Park Boys Cruise, which was beyond a blast and worth a full-length interview just on its own. Every show I played with her was a joy. She was a joy. It was a great personal achievement for me, having finally come to a musical place that I dreamed about when I was a teenager. And it was even better to be a bandmate for such a truly special person such as Bif. I got backbenched in August 2021 when Peter Karroll decided he wanted back onstage, and what Peter Karroll says goes. It hurt at the time, but I always was a hired gun, like all the other people who’ve come in and out of Bif’s band over the years. I remain friends with Bif and Chiko, which was important to me. 

Punk Globe: Bif and my band White Trash Debutantes along with Lick The Pole played an after-hours party for Music West in the mid 90’s do not remember who Gerry Jenn was playing with but she was there. I doubt you were in the band then.

Nope, I wasn’t in her band back then, unfortunately. I could only imagine what a backstage party would be like with Rebecca Russell and Gerry-Jenn and Bif and yourself all in close quarters, all excitable and animated and fueled on complimentary vodka. I probably would’ve spent my time nervously adjusting my collar with a big dippy grin on my face. Rock and roll is awesome.